This was the first audio lesson that I truly felt connected to. The ability to project the overwhelming love I have for my children onto myself was quite an emotional awakening. I have always believed that one cannot love another unless they love themselves first. It is funny though because many people view this outlook as self-centered. Many of my close friends with children often ask how I have time to take care of myself and then have the energy to deal with family, work, and life in general—almost like I should feel guilty for doing it. The short answer is that I make the time for myself and I do not let myself feel the guilt that many would like me to feel. The truth is that the time I take for myself gives me more energy, makes me a better mother, wife, and friend. Also, I found the exercise on embracing the suffering of a friend to be eerily relevant right now. A close family member is about to undergo a serious heart procedure and I was able to send some feelings of health and joy his way. I think that it is very important to be able to place your focus on others besides yourself and I always find that wonderful things come to those who unconsciously or consciously practice this in their lives.
Just like my heart needs its daily workout, so does my mind. Although for me, the daily cardio sessions I do are just as crucial for my mind as they are for my body. But the concept of a “mental workout” means that one must put in the necessary time, learn as much as they can, and consistently practice (Dacher, 2006, p. 65). Like I mentioned before, my daily physical exercise is my mental therapy but I am aware that there are many contemplative methods that I need to learn about. It is one thing to achieve a level of relaxation and quite another thing to knowing the meaning behind it. Many people, myself included, just go through the motions without truly understanding what we are doing. It is more important to know the meaning behind our actions in order to truly be in the moment. This is the hardest thing to achieve, but it is a basic concept that separates the good from the best.
REFERENCES
Dacher, E. S. (2006). “Preparing the ground”. Integral Health: The Path to Human Flourishing. Laguna Beach. CA: Basic Health Publications
Hi Eryn, as with any work out it is simply a matter of doing the work. You have found the secret. Take care of yourself so you are better able to take care of others. Great post.
ReplyDeleteGreat post Eryn. I am glad that you found this exercise to be beneficial for you. I just could not get into it. I do take time for myself though because I know that it makes me a better person, mother, wife, friend, etc. I never used to take time for myself, but then I realized that if I am not taking care of myself, who will? I try to take time and just spend it alone, even if just for a few minutes. I do try to walk...it makes me feel relaxed, but also invigorated at the same time. Again...great post! Take care and best wishes to your friend.
ReplyDeleteErin I too love my children so much that this exercise help me to relay that love to myself. But in my blog I post that it is so hard for me to find the time to love myself, because I tend to feel guilty that I am not giving all that love to my children and family. I tend to worry about every one else and making them happy that I tend to forget about myself. I guess though that I need to change the way I think and start thinking of me. I have to remember that I will not be neglecting my children or family because if I am sick and not able to be around I will not be able to care and love them.
ReplyDeleteHi Erin, Great Post!. You are so correct in saying before a person can truly love others, they need to love themselves first. I can confirm this from my own personal experience. For so long I thought that I could make others happy and then I would be happy - not true. I may have appeared happy but inside I was depressed, lonely and just unhappy. Once I started meditation and focusing on what actually would make me happy, I became a better and loving person to myself and others.
ReplyDeleteErin,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading your blog. I can say that I absolutely agree with you. My mom has always told us that you cannot love anyone unless you love yourself first. Now that I am older and have gotten married, I understand what she was trying to tell me all along because I look at my sister who is older than me and has a very low self esteem and thinks that she should have things handed to her and pretty much does not work for what she wants. Where as I am the complete opposite and work myself to the bone for what I want and I believe that as a mother I can say that when you have a child, it is a unconditional love for another human being that no one can take away. I think that people say things (such as being selfish like you stated above) because they cannot figure out or mastered how to make time for themselves and still give your loved ones the attention they deserve. Awesome post! Thanks for sharing!
Luna
Hi, Eryn, I absolutely love the way you write about your love for your children, and how you incorporate these principles into your life. You're right on about understanding what it means to love one's self.
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